aDrenais' Book of Shadows

The last time I read Lime was....ok, not so long ago. While I enjoy reading all sorts of women's magazines, I can hardly afford most of the items featured. It makes me much happier to look at prices that are generally below S$100 in Seventeen, Teenage, Lime etc, even if it means snickers (not always from strangers!) when I purchase Seventeen from the newsstand.

I must have been away for too long, because I found the articles in Lime highly entertaining. Or maybe I've regressed in Kampung Bahrain, masking a 15-year old brain behind a decade older facade. In any case, just because I have the time to, here are the 2 articles that made my day alittle brighter today:

Love, Actually (Editor's note by Lime Editor Stella Thng)
....Anyone who's ever been in lurve would tell you it's not all dewy-eyed romance. It's about the mundane stuff like helping your guy ta pau dinner when he's working late, or typing out her notes for a big school assignment.
Love is when you share a bowl of ice kachang and you save the atap chee for her.
It's when he lets you pick the movie and you choose the war flick instead of the romantic comedy, because you know he secretly wants to watch that.
It's not saying 'Hah! I told you so!' when she sprains her ankle wearing killer heels even though you did tell her so.
It's when he downloads Lily Allen on his iPod although he can't stand her - just in case you ever feel like borrowing his iPod, you'd have something to listen to.
It's bringing her lingerie shopping and letting her buy comfy cotton PJs if that's what she really wants, instead of the crotchless panties you've been eyeing.
It's sweating it out with him rollerblading even though you'd much rather be shopping.
It's admiring (as sincerely as possible) her fifth pair of black shoes which look just like the other four.
And most importantly - and this is the hardest thing to do - it's walking away from a fight because you'd rather keep the peace and show some love than prove that you're right.

Ok, you all know that this struck a chord because I'm the most antagonistic person when I don't feel like I have to be on my best behaviour, and poor Elgin has to walk away from fights all the time. Just yesterday, I threw a tantrum because he pissed my sister off. And even though I was standing up for my sister, she gently told me that if she were Elgin she wouldn't be able to take my hissy fits too. I'll just have to be better behaved :(

Laws of Attraction by Ki'ern Tan: 15 rules for women by men - if we ever get our way!
1. Turning our underwear inside out is as good as wearing a fresh pair.
2. There's no need to ask us what we're thinking about every five minutes. It's always the same thing - sex.
3. Do not christian our manhood 'Little anything'.
4. As far as we're concerned, your wardrobe is made up of thongs and lacy bras so stop asking us what we think you should wear. And panties are optional whenever you wear a skirt.
5. Unless you have a one-eyed snake we don't know of, a night out with the boys is strictly off limits.
6. The TV's remote control is sacred and for our use only.
7. Bra clasps aren't meant to be brain teasers. The less complicated the better.
8. When we turn on the Xbox, it's not your cue to regale us with what Sue and you did at the nail parlour.
9. We truly believe the footballers on TV can hear our screams.
10. A bag of chips does in fact constitute going out to dinner.
11. Holding hands is foreplay.
12. Jeans come pre-washed. That's all the washing they'll ever need.
13. Boxer shorts for birthdays/anniversaries/Christmas are not gifts.
14. Men never look good holding tiny pink purses with sparkly sequins while you're busy shopping.
15. We only look at porn for the artistic pictures.

Maybe it's funny because I can strongly picture Elgin saying all these things in my mind's eye. Maybe he has a future in journalism after all, writing misogynistic pieces for men's magazines.